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Finding Balance
The Relationship Factor
By Rande Bynum, staff writer
Let's face it: relationships are on everyone's minds. Whether you're listening to the latest track from Usher or checking out the newest reality shows, people are getting together or visiting "splitsville."
What no one talks about is how relationships can affect you, whether you're in one or ending one. Either way, your sweetie can affect your self-esteem, your essence (as a boy once told me), and your ability to be you…good or bad! I like to call this "edge" the relationship factor.
Let the Good Times Roll
When it's good, it's really good. You're happy, you're in love, you're even planning for Valentine's Day 2012! Here are some signs that you're on the plus side of the "relationship factor."
- Queen of Hearts
Whether it's your notebook, T-shirt, or the chalk board, your new signature sign is a heart. Big and puffy or skinny with an arrow, everywhere you go you're so in love you need to tell the world.
- Singing in the Shower
Never before were there so many love songs! Your favorite iPod playlist is all about love. All of the sudden you HAVE TO sing all the time. You've even been caught humming in your calculus class.
- Do Not Walk
You lost the power to make your feet walk. You MUST skip or prance everywhere. It's like your feet can't touch the ground. You can't understand why no one else has the energy you have.
- Looney Tunes
Everything you say is in a sing-song voice. You could do voiceovers for the Disney Channel. The world is all flowers, puppies, and butterflies. You are just THAT happy!
No More Sad Songs
On the other hand, when it rains it pours. You've just broken up with your sweetie, and you feel like it's the end of the world. How could you have thought about going to the same college or even wearing matching shirts? Somehow the sun continues to rise and set. Here are some signs that the relationship factor has hit you on the down side.
- Let It Burn
You have burned every sad song—new and old—on a disk. Let's face it; they're burned on your brain. All the tear-jerkers are number one on your list. Listen and cleanse.
- Cake & Ice Cream
A break-up can lead to munchie mania. Everyone has her favorites—ice cream or cookies or chips. Try feeding your heart instead—too much junk food can sap your energy in the long run.
- Friends Forever
Remember your best friends, who you kept ditching for the love of your life? Now is the time when those friendships kick back in and you remember why they were your friends in the first place. Get out and have fun.
- Elim-a-date
Rebound dating is a sure sign of a negative relationship factor. Sadly, it could mean you transferring your negative energy to someone who may really care about you. It's good to meet new people, but make sure your intentions are clear.
Finding You Again
Being in a relationship is hard work. Ending a relationship is equally as hard. What is most important is not to get lost in it all and to remember what makes you special.
A Scavenger Hunt
Adapted from STUDIO 2B Focus: uniquely ME! The Real Deal
It is hard to hide from all the messages out there about relationships. The messages are loud and clear in music, TV, magazines, and movies. Spend some time searching for the "you in you." Ask some friends to join you in this self-exploration scavenger hunt.
Jumpstart your hunt with these clues:
Artist in You: Singing sad songs, drawing hearts? Take time to express yourself. Grab a journal, a paint brush, or a guitar and freestyle your feelings. You might end up with a masterpiece.
Save the World: Take your energy and share it with someone else. Volunteer your time at a local shelter, mentor a younger girl, or coordinate a clothing drive.
Family Trip: Your family: remember them? Hang out with your little brother or give your grandma an unexpected call. Check out your family tree, flip through the family album. As crazy as they seem sometimes, they help shape who you are and who you are going to be.
Sweat it Out: Find a new way to get moving or rediscover an old favorite. What better way to "do you" then to get in shape. So if it is mind soothing yoga or rough and tumbling dodge ball, get going.
They say it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. I say whatever you chose to do don't let the "relationship factor" override the YOU factor!
uniquely ME! THE GIRL SCOUT/UNILEVER SELF-ESTEEM PROGRAM was established in the fall of 2001 to boost self-esteem among girls ages 8 to 14. The uniquely ME! resources are available for all girls.
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