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The Respect Basics
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. – Find out What It Means to You
By Courtney Macavinta
Nod your head if this has ever happened to you: A guy called you a nasty name at school. A so-called friend spread a rumor about you. You thought you were too "fat" or "ugly" to leave the house. Someone abused you in the past and it still hurts.
What do all these dilemmas have in common? They're all disrespectful. But disrespect doesn't have to keep you down. Here's the secret: respect is always within reach because true respect starts on the inside. When you respect yourself, you feel more comfortable being the real you. You know how you want to be treated and you don't settle for less. You have the power to spread respect for all, and change the world!
Sounds fab, right? If you want to get and give more respect, start by learning and living these basics:
Basics No. 1: Follow Your Passion
When you do things you're passionate about, you're happier with you. Whether it's a hobby, sport, art project, cause close to your heart or after-school activity, finding and following your passion can really make a girl shine—inside and out. When you're doing what you love, your confidence and faith in yourself grows. You're proud of your accomplishments and skills. So you don't stress so much about your looks or fitting in because you know who you are and like what you see.
Try…making a list of things you love to do or have ever wanted to try. This week take step one: spend time exploring or working on your passion project.
Basics No. 2: Trust Your Gut
A voice inside you tells you what you want, and what feels right or wrong. Have you heard it lately? When in doubt, listen to your gut and make choices that pass your "gut checks" first. When you listen to your gut, you also get better at putting on the brakes when you get the feeling that you don't want to do (fill in the blank).
Try…trusting your gut when making one choice this week—even if it means standing apart from the crowd.
Basics No. 3: Speak Up
What's OK with you? What's not okay with you when it comes to relationships or how you're treated by others? Pay attention because these are your boundaries. Part of respecting yourself means sticking to your boundaries and speaking up about them—like saying "no" when you want to. When you're honest about your boundaries, people get to know you better and respect your rights – and it should be a two-way street.
Try…setting a boundary if someone hurts you or is pressuring you. Speak up about how it makes you feel.
Basics No. 4: Stand for Sisterhood
Here's the thing: It's not enough to respect ourselves. We have to respect other girls, too, or we all stand to lose our rights (like the right to follow your passion and speak your mind). Caring about other girls is the same thing as caring about yourself. And hating other girls is like dissing yourself, too. Sisterhood means you're connected to every girl in the world. That's why accepting other girls and women for who they are and supporting them is a secret to boosting your self-respect.
Try…calling a meeting with other girls in your school, family or neighborhood to talk about disrespect that's affecting girls. Talk about what causes these problems. Offer ideas for change. Put one of these ideas into action.
Basics No. 5: Get Support
This respect basic might just be the most important one. Everyone needs support because without help it's hard to get where you want to go. Girls struggle with everything from eating disorders to cutting to unhealthy relationships to not knowing the steps to take to pursue goals like going to college. Getting help isn't a sign of weakness but proof of your strength and smarts!
Try…reaching out to a friend, trusted adult or helpline for support in an area where you've been struggling. Or, if you're ready for a new mentor, reach out to well-known organizations (like the Girl Scouts) that will connect you with women who will cheer you on.
Courtney Macavinta is co-author of RESPECT: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed.
uniquely ME! THE GIRL SCOUT/DOVE SELF-ESTEEM PROGRAM was established in the fall of 2001 to boost self-esteem among girls ages 8 to 17. The uniquely ME! resources are available for all girls. For more information, visit the girlscouts.org uniquely ME! Web page.
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