What's a relaxer? A relaxer is a chemical formula designed to straighten curly hair. Relaxers are used on all kinds of hair from kinky tresses to bouncy curls. They make hair straighter and easier to manage. How straight your hair gets depends on how strong of a relaxer you use, and how long you leave it on. The relaxer always burned my scalp, sometimes causing me to cry, often creating oozing sores on my scalp. Still, I liked the straight look the relaxer created and I played with my hair styles, cutting, shaving, braiding, and curling.

What's With Your Hair?

By Tonya Leslie, staff writer

It started when my mother decided I could comb my own hair. Up until that point, she had been in charge of its combing, plaiting, and styling—often with little success. My hair was unruly, kinky, and had a mind of its own. It was hard for her to deal with it, and even harder for me to deal with her dealing with it, so she decided it was time for "something else."

Relax

That "something else" was a relaxer. When I got my first relaxer, I was excited. I'd seen girls with relaxed hair, their braids straight and sleek and hanging down their backs. Their hair didn't spring back like mine, reducing itself to half of its stretched-out length. Then they put the relaxer cream on my scalp and it felt like my head was burning off.

Too Relaxed?

I started relaxing my hair at about age 14 and continued for 10 years. Every four or five months, I'd go in for a touch up—to straighten the new growth. As I got older I realized that I really didn't know my hair without a relaxer. I couldn't attest to how easy or hard it really was to style because I hadn't seen my natural hair for most of my life. The thought that I was putting chemicals in my hair that caused me pain began to seem crazy. Why on earth would I pay someone to hurt me? Could it be that I didn't have "bad" hair—that I just didn't know how to deal with it, because I never had to?

So I decided to take a chance and find out what my hair really was like with nothing in it. Now, this was a tricky thing to do. Since a relaxer chemically alters your hair, it never goes back to its original form. In order to get rid of the relaxer, I could either let my relaxed hair gradually grow out or cut all the relaxed hair off altogether. Guess what I decided?

The Short Story

I went to my stylist and said, "Take it low." He did. I had short hair before but nothing like this—I was practically bald! But I could tell that I liked the natural hair that sprung up on my head: curly, soft, and healthy. My friends liked my new look too. I started wearing cute hats and dangly earrings to highlight my new low 'fro.

I've been growing my hair for a while now. It's taken me on quite a journey. My hair constantly shows me new things it can do. I‘ve experimented with braids, twists, and new products. Sometimes I wear it in a big afro. Other times I wear it in soft waves. Occasionally, I get it blown out straight—the same relaxed look without all the chemicals.

Now friends tell me they are thinking of going natural, too, and I support them. I don't think it makes sense to do things to your hair that ultimately hurt you. If your hair is straight, rock it. If it's curly, go with it, and if you don't know what it does—find out. By embracing your hair without all the fancy products you are embracing you in your truest form.