If you are injuring yourself: Recognize that you are not crazy. Ask for help. Get involved—do something that you find fun and interesting that will make you feel better about yourself. Know that you are not alone—there are people who care about you! If you have a friend who is injuring herself: Recognize that if a friend has told you she is injuring herself, it's because she trusts you. If you find out by accident, don't hound her or make threats to get her to stop. She may perceive your persistence as violating her space, not as an attempt to help. Understand that you cannot force her to stop injuring herself. Be supportive—let her know you are there to help. Listen; don't judge—she is not a bad person for doing this. Encourage her to speak with a trusted adult. Ask her to make a contract with a trusted adult. When she feels like injuring herself, she can call that person instead. If that person is not available, she can decide in advance what activity she will do instead to take her mind away from injuring herself.

Cutting through the Silence
The Dangers of Self-injury

By Helen Orloff, staff writer

Even if it was 95 degrees outside, you wouldn't dare wear short-sleeved shirts, bathing suits, or shorts. Instead, you'd swelter in long-sleeved shirts and jeans in the hopes that no one finds out your "secret." You're hiding the cuts, burns, and scratches on your body—all made by YOU.

More than Skin Deep

The deliberate act of hurting yourself (called self-injury) is NOT an attempt to die or "just a cry for attention." Hair pulling, burning, biting, scratching, carving, and cutting are all examples of self-injury that should be thought of as coping mechanisms. Forms of self-injury are different for everyone, and it is often difficult to understand their causes. Teens who injure themselves have often been physically, sexually, or verbally abused. In addition to hurting their skin, they may also abuse drugs or have an eating disorder (other ways of injuring their bodies).

Some people hurt themselves because they are "walled off" or shut down. They are unable to express feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, and other emotions. They may also believe that feeling pain is better than feeling nothing.

Are You a Self-abuser?

You might be if you say things to yourself like, "I am ugly; I have no friends; I am worthless; I'm no good." Saying these kinds of things to yourself is like throwing a box of rocks right at your heart. The negative messages you send to yourself can be endless.

According to Dr. Gayle Porter, Ph.D., "there are many reasons why self-abuse happens. Some people who abuse themselves find it has a calming effect. It helps them cope with feelings and emotions or to even detach or escape from them."

There are hidden dangers to self-cutting. You may cut too deeply and require stitches, or in extreme cases, hospitalization. By using items like razor blades, scissors, pins, or the flip-top of a soda can, cuts can become infected. Be aware, if two people cut themselves and share the same cutting instrument, they are at risk of blood-borne illnesses such as HIV and hepatitis. Although you may not intend to seriously hurt yourself, the risk increases with every cut.

Be Good to Yourself

If you feel like cutting, Dr. Porter suggests, "Use your voice!" The best thing you can do is talk about it. Talk about it with an adult that you trust—a family member, a school counselor, your family doctor, or a therapist.

Be kind to yourself; turn that "box of rocks" voice into positive messages! Think about what your self-injury is "telling" you about your feelings and ask for help.

If you feel the urge to cut, find substitute activities such as:

• Listening to music
• Listening to music
• Watching a funny movie
• Reading a book
• Exercising
• Painting
• Dancing
• Writing in your journal
• Taking a walk
• Redecorating your room
• Cleaning
• Organizing your drawers, closets, or desk