Friends Really are Forever
What Do Our Best Friends Leave Behind?

By Diane Barrett, staff writer

"One true friend is like finding a treasure." That's what my grandmother used to tell me.

When I was younger, I didn't really appreciate those words. Now as an adult, I recognize the importance of what she said. Like a rare gem, a best friend is something to be cherished, to look up to and help us be our best selves. We rely on our friends to keep our secrets, share our jokes and always to be there when we need them.

Sometimes, life circumstances change the course of a friendship. Moving, starting new schools, finding different interests and meeting new friends can alter a friendship. The impact a friend leaves on our life however, is something that lasts a lifetime. My friend Desi gave me a life lesson that I never forgot.

The World of Junior High School

Desi and I attended the same junior high school, William H. Carr Junior High School 194 in Whitestone, N.Y. We took the same school bus, and then realized we were in some of the same classes. I don't know how I would have gotten through those years without her. For me, starting junior high school was like entering a different country. Girls wore makeup and designer jeans and they all seemed so "cool." Outspoken, and naïve, I did not fit in, and wasn't completely sure I wanted too. I liked sports, hated makeup, and loved roller hockey. I was a passionate reader, and loved to write, it was my goal back then to be a writer like my father. None of these things seemed to be acceptable interests for the other kids.

Nail Polish and Hockey Sticks

Desi looked like Cyndi Lauper (an '80s pop star) with purple eye shadow, big bows in her hair, neon socks, and lots of bangles and rubber bracelets ('80s accessories). Even though we were an unusual sight, me with my hockey stick, and Desi with her nail polish and bows, we quickly became inseparable best friends. On the weekends we would sleep over at each other's house. Desi's father was a musician, so her living room was set up like a recording studio. We spent hours recording ourselves singing, listening to music and talking about everything.

Friends Help You Find Your Courage

Like any true friendship, ours wasn't built on only the good times. When I was 15, tragedy struck my family. Unexpectedly, my niece Jennifer passed away at the age of 5. My family struggled to overcome the grief. I had dealt with someone passing before, but never someone so young. Jennifer's death changed me; I wasn't sure who to be. Suddenly, I didn't feel like a kid. I wanted to be one, but I was different. How do you go back to the life you had before you lose someone you love? I was confused. My parents supported me, but sometimes only a friend can really understand how you feel. Desi stuck by me through it all. She brought me my school work when I missed school. She let me cry when I needed to, and let me be silent when I needed that. She was a true friend. One afternoon, she turned to me and said, "It takes courage to get through this, you have courage, and so you will be OK." Somehow, she knew just the words I needed to hear. I am not sure what I would have done without her.

What Are Friends For?

Desi's friendship helped me get through a tough time, and gave me unforgettable memories of singing, music and long talks that I will never forget. Her friendship was a special gift, and like any special gift, it should be shared. Whenever my friends are struggling or dealing with the unexpected turmoil that life can deal us, I remind them what I was told: It takes courage to get through tragedy; once you find your courage you will be OK. After all, isn't that what friends are for?