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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I am 16 years old, but I have known for a long time now that I want to be a doctor, a pediatrician. I am studying very hard and working toward that the best I can. But now I am being told by my parents and other people that if I want to do that, my plans to have a family will suffer. I also want to get married and have children and they say that one or the other will suffer. It feels like because I'm a girl, I pretty much have to choose one or the other and I don't want to. Am I wanting too much? What should I do?
—Career Confusion, 16, Texas
Dear Career Confusion,
What's wonderful about growing up now is that you have so many options in life. Many women successfully combine a career with a rewarding family life. I view myself as one of those women. I have a career that required years of education, but the work I do is exciting and fulfilling and absolutely worth all that effort. I am also a wife and the mother of a son and a daughter (Liz), and I would never give up the joy that I have always experienced in those roles. What I had to do was figure out how to balance my family and work lives. You don't have to make all your decisions right now, but try to keep your options open.
—Dr. M
Dear Career Confusion,
I agree with you that there seems to be more pressure for girls to choose between having a family and having a career, especially when the career requires a lot of dedication and hard work. However, I also believe that if you are willing to put in your best effort, you can accomplish your dream. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a pediatrician and a mom. It might be hard to try to "do it all," but if you have people in your life to whom you can turn for support, it certainly isn't impossible. Plus, you can always decide later on that you want a different career, but if you think you want to become a pediatrician, you should keep on working towards your goal.
—Liz
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