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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M,
Anytime I don't do the greatest on a test I keep thinking about it for days afterward. And I'll beat myself up over it. How do I stop thinking about it?
—Hannah, 15, Pennsylvania
Dear Hannah,
Lots of people have a hard time letting go of a bad experience. Try this: instead of "beating" yourself up over doing poorly on a test, think about some strategies you can use to do better the next time. Maybe you didn't study enough or get to sleep early or read all of your material. Whatever you come up with as a reason, commit to working on that for the next test. Remind yourself that it's only one test with many more to take. Also, you might be too hard on yourself. If you keep focusing on what you got wrong instead of what you learned and got right, your anxiety might prevent you from doing your best the next time around.
—Dr. M
Dear Hannah,
Instead of thinking about the bad grade you already got, try focusing on doing better in the class to make up for that one test. Use the time you would usually spend worrying to do homework and study so that you'll do better on the next test. And remember that one single test will not ruin your grades or your chances of getting into a good college. So take a deep breath and concentrate on learning from your mistakes.
—Liz
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