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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
Sometimes I feel alone as if I don't belong here in this world. I have everything. I love Girl Scouts and I am an A+ student. I feel like I am caught between two worlds. I am African American and I have friends from school, church and Girl Scouts, and they are all very different from each other. I really don't believe I fit in anywhere. What is wrong with me?
—Shrimp, 14, South Carolina
Dear Shrimp,
You may feel that you have to be the same as others in a group to fit in. That means that when you're with your Girl Scout friends, you think you have to act one way and with your school friends another way, and with your church friends still another way. Actually, people in each of these groups probably appreciate you for your unique qualities. So, be yourself with all of your friends, and try not to worry about how different these groups are from each other. You might experiment with mixing your friendship groups up and inviting them all to a party. Have icebreaker games to help everyone get to know each other. Maybe some new friendships will be the result. And, if not, at least you tried to break down some barriers.
If you are feeling down about not really belonging anywhere, it might help to talk with a parent, a Girl Scout volunteer, a school counselor or some other trusted adult. By the way, congratulations on your superb grades!
—Dr. M
Dear Shrimp,
It might seem as though you don't fit in with any of these groups because you don't share all the same interests and may only have one thing in common with your friends from each group. But, if you have friends from all these different places and activities, then I'm sure you fit in, and it's great that you are able to make friends with people who are so different from each other.
—Liz
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