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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
These past three years of high school have been an on and off relationship for me. I have been talking, dating, friends with, enemies with, and nothing, to the same person for a while now. Last weekend, we started talking again and he invited me over. It was really awkward, yet fun. I still have feelings for him and I have no idea if he has feelings for me back. In our past seven relationships he has hurt me every time (broke up with me for someone else). But every time he comes back to me I can't help but fall for him. I can't help the way I feel about him. Do you think he has some feelings for me and should I wait around until he stops playing "games?"
—Sarah, 17, Delaware
Dear Sarah,
He certainly has feelings for you. Otherwise, he wouldn't keep coming back to you—in one form or another. However, I wouldn't advise you to wait around until he stops playing games. That would mean allowing yourself to get hurt over and over again. So let him know that you're tired of the roller-coaster ride of a relationship you're both on. Think about what you need. If he can't handle the kind of commitment you want, then it's time to move on to someone else, hard as that might be at first.
—Dr. M
Dear Sarah,
He might still have some feelings for you, but it seems like he's not mature enough to deal with a relationship. Even though you like him, and it's hard to say no to someone in that situation, it seems like he's just going to hurt you again. You shouldn't be waiting around for him to decide if he likes you again or to stop playing games, especially since you never know when he'll be done with that.
—Liz
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