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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
Everyone at school thinks it's weird to have a boy as your BFF. I do, so now that we've come to that age that everyone has a boyfriend, we are being constantly teased. Nathen and I have endured it, and become better friends in the process. One of his friends however, has a big crush on me, and I on him. Unfortunately my crush thinks I like Nathen. It's a mess. What I am supposed to do? I want to straighten it out, but now, I have become too dependent on Nathen to help me with boy problems. Now that his friend is involved, Nathen has totally closed up. I am so worried I will say the wrong thing. What should I do?
—Hayden, 13, Vermont
Dear Hayden,
If Nathen is really your BFF, you should be able to talk to him about almost anything, including your crushes. Think about why Nathen has closed up. Could it be because he's a bit jealous of your feelings for one of his friends? Or is it because he doesn't want to be in the middle of a situation that involves you and another friend? Since you and Nathen have had a long-standing friendship, trust that you can talk to him honestly about your feelings, and let him know that you'd like him to do the same. As for your crush, find some way to him know that Nathen is a friend, not a boyfriend. Just remember that if you and your crush get involved, don't neglect your friendship with Nathen. That relationship is too important to ignore.
—Dr. M
Dear Hayden,
I think you should try talking both to Nathen and to his friend whom you like. Ask Nathen why he suddenly closed up and if it makes him uncomfortable that you like his friend. Try to figure out a way to still stay close with Nathen even though you like his friend. In terms of the guy you like, find some way to let him know that you're into him, not Nathen. You don't have to tell him straight out, but maybe you could drop hints by showing that you've noticed things he says or
—Liz
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