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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
What is an appropriate age to start dating? My best friend Abby says boys are stupid and she would hate me if I got a boyfriend, but this really nice guy asked me out, and I really want to say yes, but I don't want to lose Abby as a friend. I think I am old enough to go out with a guy. My friend Lucy has had 4 boyfriends already.
—Katie, 13, New York
Dear Katie,
The appropriate age to start dating is when you and your parents think you're ready. Abby is probably telling you she'd hate you if you got a boyfriend because she is afraid that you'll neglect her if you start dating. Reassure her that your friendship won't change when you get a boyfriend. And you don't have to compare yourself to Lucy. Being in a relationship with a boy is a personal decision and not one for you to make to be like someone else or to please a friend.
—Dr. M
Dear Katie,
Whether you're ready to start dating is a decision that you (and your parents, depending on their rules) have to make. There isn't a particular age that girls should start dating, and you shouldn't base your decision on how many boyfriends your friend has had. Before you start dating, it might be a good idea to talk to Abby about it just to let her know what's going on and that you really want to still be friends even if the two of you think differently about boys. Maybe you could ask her why she doesn't want you to have a boyfriend. Assure her that any relationship you have with a guy won't ruin your friendship with her.
—Liz
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