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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
If your boyfriend breaks up with you because he hears a rumor about you that's not true, what should you do?
—Ex-girlfriend, 14
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
Maybe you should be grateful that he's no longer your boyfriend. He broke one of the most important rules in a relationship. He didn't trust you enough to check in with you before he made the decision to break up. You may still want to set the record straight—let him know that what he heard was just not true and that he acted unfairly by jumping to a false conclusion before you had a chance to clear yourself. By the way, who started that rumor? And why? That's another piece of unfinished business you might want to take care of before a new rumor starts making the rounds.
—Dr. M
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
Confront your ex-boyfriend and ask him where he heard the rumor and whether he really believes it. If you can track the rumor back to its source, you can try to convince that person to tell your ex-boyfriend that the rumor was not true. Of course, you may not be able to find the source and even if you do, she or he may not be willing to admit the real facts. If your ex-boyfriend hears the truth from you or from the source and still doesn't want to get back together, your relationship is obviously not meant to be. It's time to move on.
—Liz
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