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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M,
I'm 13 and there's a guy I've known for a long time. I fell in love with him, and he said he felt the same way about me. Now he wants to be friends, but I don't think I can go back to being friends. I think I like him in a different way. I have tried talking to him and my friends, but none of them takes it the right way. What should I do?
—Heartbroken, 13
Dear Heartbroken,
The hardest part of a relationship is when one person has stronger or different feelings than the other. If you value your friendship with this boy, then work at keeping your relationship at that level only. You can't make him feel something he doesn't feel or isn't ready for. On the other hand, you may find it too hard to be friends with him now that you've fallen in love with him. Explain your perspective to him and avoid him–at least for a while–until you feel more comfortable with returning to a relationship based on friendship. You may find that at some point in the future you'll be in a relationship where you're the one who doesn't return the feelings of love. The situation you're in now will help you act in an understanding way.
—Dr. M
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