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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M,
I'm new to this Web site, but there is this guy in school who is sooo cute, and I want to ask him out but 1) I'm not very good at flirting and the last time I asked someone out he said no, and it broke my heart, and 2), I don't know if any boy has ever liked me before. What do I do? Please answer. This is urgent. There is a school dance next Saturday. I need your answer ASAP please.
—Sammyi, 12, Nigeria
Dear Sammyi,
I'm glad you found this site, and I'm really happy to be getting so many questions from girls all around the world.
Instead of flirting, which you obviously don't feel comfortable with (some girls do and some don't), take a more direct approach. Yes, there is a possibility that you'll be turned down, the way you were before. But if you don't ask, you'll never know—he might say YES. And if he says no, you won't have to keep agonizing over what his answer might be—you'll know for sure. Try to keep in mind that you might get turned down for lots of reasons—he's not ready for a relationship with a girl, he likes you as a friend, or maybe he's interested in someone else right now. If the answer is no, remember that you'll have lots of time and opportunities to meet other guys, some of whom you're likely to want to get to know better. So, if things don't work out for next Saturday, think about the week after that, next month, and even next year.
—Dr. M
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