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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I am 14 and I have a boyfriend. Not only a boyfriend—he's 16. My parents said it wasn't a big deal, but they won't let me see him. We've been together for four weeks, and we talk on the phone everyday. My parents trust me and everything, so what's the deal? I just want to be with my boyfriend. I mean, they won't even meet him. They just keep putting it off! Is there a way that I can convince them to just let me say hi to him sometime?
—Alexandria, 14, Washington
Dear Alexandria,
Perhaps your parents are concerned about the age difference, even though they told you it wasn't a big deal. While two years is not a lot when people are 22 and 24, it does seem like a big difference at your age. Your parents probably aren't worried about you just saying "hi"—it's what comes after that. Maybe, they keep putting off meeting him because they don't want the two of you to take that as a sign that this is a serious relationship. But I'm just guessing. Only your parents really know what's on their minds. See if you can get them to open up a bit about their feelings and concerns.
—Dr. M
Dear Alexandria,
If your parents won't let you see your boyfriend then I think it's safe to say that they do think that it's a big deal. Try talking to them about it. Ask them exactly why they won't let you see him and see if there's anything you can do that would change their minds. Make sure to act in a mature way (i.e., do not get angry), which will make it more likely you'll all come to a compromise.
—Liz
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