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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I live with my grandma, and I see my mom once a week and my dad twice. I don't want to live with my grandma. I want to live with my dad and see my mom more. I've lived with my grandma since I was seven. My dad didn't get in trouble, and he didn't want me to get taken away. He has heart problems, and he signed the papers right before he had heart surgery, so they aren't legal, but I still don't live with my dad, but my brother does, and my sister and new brother live with my mom. I just want to live with my dad!
—Ivy, 12, Arkansas
Dear Ivy,
It must be very hard on you not to live with either one of your parents, particularly since your siblings do. Your parents may have reasons for the living arrangement they have set up for you that you are not aware of. When you next see your mom, tell her how much it would mean to you to see her more often. And when you next see your dad, find out whether it would be possible to live with him now that his surgery is in the past. Even if you need to stay in your grandma's home, see whether you can work something out that allows you to see or at least communicate with your parents more often.
—Dr. M
Dear Ivy,
The first thing you should do is make sure your family knows that you want to live with your dad. Ask your dad to explain to you why you aren't living with him now, and see if the two of you can figure out what needs to be done in order for you to live with him.
—Liz
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