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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I have a lot of bad days at school because of my supposed P.E.teacher/babysitter for the last 45 minutes of the day. When I come home all mad, my mother doesn't care. Some kids pick on me (my brother too!) on the bus. I'm mad and sad and all moody. I wish my mom would listen instead of telling me to "quit pouting, lose the attitude" and such. She won't listen.
—Misunderstood, 12, Texas
Dear Misunderstood,
Your mom probably doesn't realize that you're not asking her to solve your problems. What you're asking her to do is understand the difficult situations you're going through. Try talking to your mom when you're in an okay mood, explaining that you'd like some sympathy from her when you come home from school and have had problems with a teacher or with kids on the bus. Tell her how important it is for her to listen to you. If your mom still doesn't understand what you need, think about another adult who could listen to you—maybe another relative or a friend's mom.
—Dr. M
Dear Misunderstood,
Your mother probably doesn't remember what it was like to be your age. She probably went through experiences as bad as your own and may have simply forgotten them or blocked them from her memory. Next time you want to talk to your mom about your problems, try to get her to think about a similar problem she had when she was your age. She might not have dealt with something exactly like your problem, but it should get her to listen to you and understand your situation a little bit better.
—Liz
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