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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
My big sister always gets a lot of attention and it's like my parents don't even love me anymore. She's about to get her driver's license, and my parents are soooo proud of her. I feel left out, like I'm invisible.
—Haley, 14, Arizona
Dear Haley,
If your sister is the oldest in the family, then she's the first to do a lot of things and is bound to get attention for those accomplishments. Focus on areas where you excel and try to get your parents to notice them. You parents do love you, as they always have, but sometimes they're probably too preoccupied to give you the attention you need. Perhaps they need a gentle reminder from you that you'd like not to be ignored. They probably don't even realize that you're feeling invisible. Your sister is probably very excited that she's getting her driver's license because it's a sign of independence. And maybe your parents are happy that they won't have to drive her around everywhere. Part of what you may be feeling is a little bit of jealousy that your sister's getting her driver's license now, while you have to wait a couple of years to get yours.
—Dr. M
Dear Haley,
No matter how your parents treat your sister, they still love you. Try to remember that there's probably a lot going on in her life and she needs your parents' support. In a couple of years, you'll be going through the same stage, and you'll get all the attention. For now, just try to take it all in stride.
—Liz
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