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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M,
My parents fight a lot and my mom talks about leaving, but she never does. How can I tell her I think she should?
—Freaked over Fighting, 14
Dear Freaked over Fighting,
Relationships are very complicated. Some parents fight a lot, but they still love each other and really want to stay together. Other parents don't fight at all, but they're both miserable in the marriage. And sometimes a husband or wife will threaten to leave just to get a reaction or to encourage a spouse to change her/his behavior. Your mom needs to make her own decision about staying or leaving. But you could let her (and maybe your dad, too) know that the fighting is really getting to you.
If physical violence is part of the picture and you're scared for your mom or for yourself, talk to her about that, and let her know that there are places to go for help. Talk to a school social worker or psychologist or call a local hotline to get more information about the resources–people and places–available in your community to help your family deal with this situation.
—Dr. M
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