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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M,
Recently I found out that my brother is gay. My family believes that being gay is wrong and immoral, but we should still respect the person. My brother nor my parents know that I know about this, and I don't know what to do. Should I talk to my parents about it or just keep it to myself?
—Kimberly, 17, Alabama
Dear Kimberly,
It is not clear from your letter whether your parents know that your brother is gay. If your parents are aware, and you're the one who just found out, but not from any member of your family, I would suggest that you share with your brother what you know and how you know it. It's his life, and he deserves to hear from you directly. He may very well be relieved that the topic can be discussed openly with you, and you can assure him that you continue to love and respect him. If your parents do not know about your brother's sexual orientation, your brother should be the one sharing the information with them, not you. Once your brother knows that he has your support, he may feel more comfortable sharing the information with them. Once they know, feel free to share your feelings with your parents. Many parents and siblings find the facts difficult to face at first, but with time, most go on to show acceptance and respect.
—Dr. M
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