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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I just found out that one of my best guy friends cheated on his girlfriend, who happens to be my best friend. Do I tell this girl or do I just stay out of it?
—Sarah, 14, Ohio
Dear Sarah,
You have quite a dilemma. Whatever you do will hurt someone—at least in the short run—and may well cost you a friendship. If you keep your guy friend's secret, your girl friend will probably feel that you betrayed her once she finds out what happened. And she is sure to find out—these kinds of secrets don't stay that way for long. Talk to your guy friend. Tell him you know he cheated and ask him to own up to his bad behavior to his girlfriend. Remind him that if there's any possibility of keeping his relationship going with his girlfriend, it can't be based on lies. And if he cheated because he wants to get out of the relationship, then there are better ways to do that. Let him know that if he doesn't talk to his girlfriend, you might have to tell her yourself.
—Dr. M
Dear Sarah,
You should talk to your guy friend to let him know that you think he should tell his girlfriend about what he did. Give him a chance to come clean and warn him that if he doesn't, then you will tell her. Your friend has the right to know, but it will be better if she finds out from her boyfriend instead of you.
—Liz
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