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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I always take my friends shopping and buy them lots and lots of stuff, but they don't really sit with me at school or talk with me on the phone or anything.
—Fatima, 13, Qatar
Dear Fatima,
If your friends take the stuff that you buy for them, but don't sit with you at school or talk with you on the phone, they're taking advantage of your generosity. You're doing all the giving, and they're doing all the taking. You can't buy loyalty or friendship, so stop trying to win them over with things. Think about what real friendship is about—caring about each other and doing fun things together. Work on developing that kind of friendship, one that works for both of you.
—Dr. M
Dear Fatima,
If your friends only hang out with you when you go shopping and buy them things, I don't think they are true friends. You seem really nice and generous, and I'm sure there are other people you could become friends with who would appreciate you and want to spend time with you, instead of just using you. You deserve to go out and find those friends.
—Liz
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