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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
My BEST friend found a new best friend. I'm OK with the fact that she has more friends besides me, but it seems like they try to exclude me whenever they can. I call my friend up to hang out over the weekend, and she always says she's busy with her family. On the Monday after that weekend she talks about what a great time she had at her other friend's house. What do I do?
—BFFL?, 13, New Jersey
Dear BFFL?,
Your impression of what's going on with your "best friend for life" and her new friend seems accurate to me. It's time for you to ask your BFFL what's going on—she tells you she's busy with her family and then she spends time with another friend. Let her know that you're OK with her having other friends but that if your friendship is to continue, the two of you need to be honest with each other.
—Dr. M
Dear BFFL?,
Perhaps instead of calling your friend to find out if she wants to hang out, you can ask both her and her new best friend together in person if they want to do something over the weekend. Invite them to do something you know both of them will enjoy. Once you show your best friend that all of three of you can get along and have fun together, maybe she'll include you more in the future instead of making excuses for why she can't hang out.
—Liz
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