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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
One of my REALLY good friends cusses all the time and I hate it. Don't get me wrong—I love her like my sister but I'm totally against her cussing. Should I find a new best friend or confront her about how uncomfortable I feel about her cussing?
—Lauren, 13, Georgia
Dear Lauren,
You've already figured out the possible solutions—you could drop your best friend, which seems very extreme to me, or you could let her know that you're uncomfortable with her behavior, which seems much more reasonable and would save your friendship. You obviously care about this friend—you say you love her like a sister. You wouldn't drop your sister because she did something you didn't like. Don't do that to your friend.
—Dr. M
Dear Lauren,
You should confront your friend about her cursing, but don't make it seem like you're attacking her. Instead of saying, "You shouldn't curse," try something like, "It makes me uncomfortable when I hear you curse." That way, you won't make your friend feel bad and maybe she'll stop cursing—at least in front of you.
—Liz
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