|
|
 |
Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
|
Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I have a friend who is a guy, and he is jealous of me and my boyfriend's relationship, and I can't help but think that he likes me of course, but today he told me I had to pick between a friendship with him or a relationship with my boyfriend. I don't want to lose my friend because I love him like a brother, but I also love this guy because this is the best relationship I've been in so far. I need help. What do I do?
—Candace, 14, Virginia
Dear Candace,
Your guy friend is asking you to make a very unfair choice—you should never have to choose between a friend and a boyfriend. Tell your guy friend that you care deeply about him, just as if he were your brother. That should let him know that what you want is a friendship with him, not any kind of romantic involvement—at least not now. Reassure him that your relationship with your boyfriend will not interfere with that friendship. You might also want to point out that it's not fair for him to ask you to choose, and that you would both lose out if your friendship were to end on the basis of that choice.
—Dr. M
Dear Candace,
Talk to your friend about the situation. Ask him why he wants you to choose. If it's because he thinks your boyfriend is taking you away from hanging out with him, then you can figure out a way to spend more time with your friend. If he's upset because he doesn't like your boyfriend, maybe you can try to figure out a way that the two of them can get to know each other. Make sure you let your friend know how important he is to you. If your friend continues to be stubborn and refuses to compromise, give him some time, but if he doesn't come around then I don't think he understands what it means to be a friend.
—Liz
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Previous
