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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
I am a size five in jeans, and I am going to do the Miss Teen USA pageant, and when I go I know the girls will be like a ZERO in jeans, but I don't want to lose weight just for this pageant. So how do I feel better about myself and my size? My boyfriend even says that I am not fat, but I still feel really fat. How can I stop the negative thoughts of myself and feel better about my size? I'M HELPLESS!
—Cassandra, 16, Missouri
Dear Cassandra,
Good for you that you don't want to lose weight! As a size five, you certainly don't need to. Focus on all of your qualities—not just your appearance, but your talents and personality, too. Remind yourself that when you feel confident, you show that positive side to others. Try not to compare yourself to the other contestants—instead be the best you can be. If being in the pageant is hurting your self-image, consider dropping out. But if you really want to stay in, do so in a healthy way.
—Dr. M
Dear Cassandra,
You're right that you shouldn't have to lose weight for the pageant. Size five is certainly not fat, no matter what size the other girls at the pageant are. I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to the other girls. You can also work out with the goal of keeping in shape and getting your muscles toned, rather than trying to lose weight. You'll look great without having to worry about what you eat.
—Liz
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