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Dr. M is the author of five advice books for tweens and teens. Her latest is Where Should I Sit at Lunch? The Ultimate 24/7 Guide to Surviving the High School Years. She enjoys dancing, reading, working out and talking with young people about the issues that concern them. She holds a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology.
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Liz, a first-year college student, is the co-author of three books: Ask Dr. M and Liz; Getting to Know the Real You: 50 Fun Quizzes Just for Girls, and Girls: What's So Bad About Being Good? She loves to dance, paint, make collages, hang out with friends and, of course, give advice.
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Dear Dr. M & Liz,
OK, I don't really know how to ask this but I have a boyfriend, and he knows about my skin problem, I have a lot of scars. He says he does not care, that he wishes I could just get comfortable in front of him, but I am scared that he will not like me as much. Do you think I should let him see my body?
—Heather, 16, Alabama
Dear Heather,
It's good that you feel comfortable talking to your boyfriend about your scars. If he is as nice as he seems to be, he will accept you as you are. But you don't seem to be very accepting of your own body. Have you asked a dermatologist about those scars? Is there anything that can be done to make them less obvious? Even if your scars remain as they are, remember that being attractive is often much more about self-confidence and feeling good about the way you look than it is about physical beauty.
—Dr. M
Dear Heather,
Whether you show him your body is a decision that is up to you, but it should be based on how much you trust your boyfriend and how comfortable you feel with him, not how comfortable you feel in your skin. It seems like he really likes you, so I think that he won't care about your scars. At the same time, don't let him pressure you into anything you're not ready for. He should be able to understand if you need to take things slowly.
—Liz
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